My 3 year old is quite accomplished in the art of potty humor. Correction, he's now 3 and 3/4, but he's been performing exact potty humor for at least 3/4 of a year. He learned it from his father. Go figure.
The man's practically a genius. He's usually sensitive and wonderful. But he enjoys Sponge Bob waaaaaay too much and he's got all sorts of sordid potty humor tricks up his sleeve. Nothing too raunchy, but every thing's about poop.
The kids LURRRRVE it!!!!
I wouldn't even let my kids say "fart" 5 years ago and made them say, "Passed gas" instead. And somehow, over 5 years I've been unwittingly assimilated into the potty club. I've been taken over and brainwashed so much, we sing along with Jack (the 3 year old) when he belts out the latest rendition of a pop culture song turned potty humor at the dinner table.
"Ohhhh look what you've done
you've made a fart on every...wah..a..uhn..
Ohhhh look what you've done
you've ate the poops of everywuuhhhnnn."
Then there's the other day when I was in the bathroom doing my business (I was just pretending, since women don't ever actually DO that) when he came peeling in hollering about how he'd put on his new sandals all by himself.
"What a big boy!!" I said. Then I realized, "You're getting so old...it makes me sad you're not my little baby anymore."
To which he replied in a soft voice, "Awww, Mama, I'll always be your baby boy."
But when he leaned in for the hug he started sniffing like a dog, (remember, I was only pretending to smell, since women never really eliminate waste) and you know everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) the baby of the family does is just the cutest thing ever. So I cooed, "Are you smelling my poo?"
(Did I REALLY just admit that? I muh gaaa.)
He responded with a bawdy, "I'm not just SMELLING your poop, I'm EATING it! Yabble yabble yabble yabble!!! Num Num Num!! I'm putting my head in the toilet and eating your poop!"
Yikes. Could I be any prouder of my child?
How did we go from no tolerance for potty remarks to open season?
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