Blondecisions

Looking for Holiday Gifts?

We have holiday gifts and tons more! Stop by!
http://www.baltercatalogue.com
http://www.balterbaby.com

Natural family holiday articles:
http://www.naturalfamilyonline.com

Magic in unexpected places

I bid on and won a special rock with “No Fear” engraved on it for my 10 year old. He had told me last week he remembers when I kissed something and placed it in his pocket to touch during the day. He’s been having some trouble at school, so I need to do whatever I can. He is not a homeschool candidate (read: I wouldn’t be able to get him to do the work), so I have to be sure he’s ok at public school.

When I sent Paypal, I left a comment that this was for my son who needed a little courage in the world.

The man and wife who received the payment refunded it saying magic is given, not bought. I thought they were being mean! Then I found a letter from them that said the man remembered being a young boy who had a hard time making his way in the world. His mother had given him a magic rock that carried him through many days. He thanked me for being a good mother and loving my son so much. They’re sending this rock for free.

It was very sweet. Of all the stones and rocks I looked at, and the timing of which I looked, I found this auction from these special people and won over the original bidder. That’s magic J 

You Know You're a Mother When...

You know you’re a mother when you stir your coffee with an old peanut butter and jelly knife, and you just don’t care. You fortify your coffee with chocolate soymilk and Milk Duds for good measure anyway and you’re no longer disgusted by the conflicting tastes of anything else tossed in there. In fact, your life is just that tedious sometimes that you look forward to slurping up soaked crumbs and searching for the hint of PB&J in the coffee that’s gone cold while you got your kids ready for the day.

I wonder just how old I should let my coffee get if it's got milk in it. I mean, is it gross if at the end of the day I haven't emptied the mug in 12 hours but have just been adding more coffee and milk on top? Does the fact that it's soymilk make any difference, or am I still just THAT disgusting?

I'm a Crone. A Hairy, Clumpy Old Crone.

I found an elephant sized hair this morning on my face, right above the right side of my top lip. It was so long, I didn’t give it time to evaluate the situation; I just grabbed it and yanked. The sucker came off with a snap and I felt a twinge. I freaked! This thing was at least a half-inch long!

Was it really connected to my face? I entertained the thought that it was glued on by my last chocolate therapy session, or maybe even drool. Nighttime drool for a married woman is easier to take than a hair growing out of her face at record speed!

Did I grow this enormous hair overnight? Or maybe it’s been that long since I really looked closely. I’ve completely let myself go, haven’t I? I mean, who really says they don’t care if they drool at night? Who says that unless they’ve given up all hope?

I must have been so severely traumatized last month by finding two tiny blonde hairs had sprouted on what used to be a cute oversized freckle that I hadn’t examined my face closely in that length of time. But how could a hair grow so fast?

And the cute freckle! The little sucker has begun its right of passage into the gnarled ‘beauty mark’ my aunt always flaunted. Anyone who calls it a beauty mark knows what it really is! A clump of pigment that people stare at when your boobs are no longer desirable. You start scaring children, disgusting men, and becoming fodder for younger women to talk about. Holy shit! That’s why everyone’s been staring at my face!

It’s a beauty mark! It’s no longer cute. It’s protruding from my face and will probably double in size within 5 years and grow black hairs. I’ve completely lost my youth and I haven’t even celebrated my thirtieth birthday yet.

I am hairy and clumpy, and I need steel reinforced bras to hold up the old gals. I might as well stop pretending that I am going to find the skin beneath the scales on my heels. I might as well throw away the makeup and just pretend I look better ‘natural.’

How is it that Madonna doesn’t look like me? Why does Joan Lunden look better than I do? These women are in their fifties! I don’t remember seeing hairs all over my mother’s face. I might as well transplant Brook Shield’s eyebrow trimmings to my chin and get it over with.

I’ve gone from maiden to matron to crone in a decade. I’m not fit for the human race.

Whistled at by Phone

This morning a man wolf whistled at me. He used his phone. He literally whipped out his thing and pointed it at me; and the phone whistled! Then he put it away and watched my expression. I did what any sane woman in the Post Office on a Wednesday morning would do – I ignored him.

Never mind that I attract older weirdoes, let’s focus on the phone for a moment. That’s a new one that I must say I have never before witnessed. Instead of saying something, following me out to my car, or just generally trying to make eye contact and share a ‘moment’, he was so bold as to whip out his technological device and whistle at me. In public! In front of a postal worker and several patrons no less!

I heard him speak to someone there, so I know he had a voice box and a tongue with which to form a “Hello, Gorgeous!” or something equally as baleful. Ok, so maybe he wouldn’t just say “nice knockers” or “how about some coffee – in bed?”

But then again maybe he would have if he weren’t so busy trying to impress me with a phone. Do I look like I could be so easily impressed? Do I have a sign on my forehead that says, “Please, all Weirdoes, try to impress me with whatever is in your pants!”

Dear God! Maybe I do! Maybe I have sunk so far; let myself go that much. Did he even LOOK at me? My saddlebags are better than the leather version! I could hold a week’s worth of water in the hump on my back. My hair hasn’t seen the stylist in 8 months, I slapped on some eye shadow to hide the graveyard tan I am working on, and I was wearing a jacket I stole from my mother! Is this village really so small that I am considered a high caliber gal?

I want to go back to that Post Office, find that man, and whip out my own phone. Look! I have my own! I want to know why he thinks it will impress me so much. I want to know what school of romance and social education did he go to that taught him whistling at a woman – by phone or otherwise – is acceptable today. I want to know that he looked at the same person I saw in the mirror this morning.

I wonder if I can get the whistle installed on my phone.

Moving Preparations

I haven't been keeping up with my blogs at all! Of course I haven't had a lot of time with my writing and haven't been purposely sitting with my computer in my bedroom where I do my catching up and most of my writing.

I've been really blasted with work, family illness, stress, etc.. My house is torn apart with all the preparing I am doing for the big move. I don't know if I mentioned, but we're going to start fresh. We're getting rid of EVERYTHING and moving with a 4x8 trailer from uHaul. It's cheaper to buy new things as we need them than haul our old junk 3,000 miles which would be HELL and would just depress me. I want a fresh start!

It's a lot of work trying to SELL off everything on eBay, Half.com, and locally instead of giving it away or having a huge moving sale. But we could use the money NOW and I don't want to wait until the end and find I still have half a house full and nothing to do with it.

I have a plan in all this chaos and that's to empty the house from the top floor down. My husband's office and our storage is on the third floor. I have pulled down 100% of the stored items to go through them, sell and donate or set aside what we will keep. I'm only keeping what is absolutely precious to me.

His office stuff is on the list to be cleaned and either he does it or I will... which isn't something he would REALLY want me to do, eh?? Our plan is to pull it all down to the first and second floors so we can visualize what we have to pack and how much space we will need.

I've even had such a nasty respiratory illness because I am allergic to dust and I snarfed so much dust mid-October it caused a huge reaction which turned into a terrible cold allergy thing. I thought I was headed towards an actual infection, but it cleared up finally.

Soooo I am also working on cleaning the second floor where the bedrooms and bathroom are. I am maybe 40% done with what I can do right now on that floor. More would need to be done nearer to the move like giving away our beds, packing, etc.. I am hauling everything I can downstairs to be gone through.

The basement stuff is also coming up to the first floor to be dealt with. Very little was down there and some of it is spring/summer stuff that will need to be sold in March-June, but it's still a chore.  Thank goodness I won't be taking my new washer and dryer - what JUNK they turned out to be! That's what I get for buying the cheapest machines at Lowes. We couldn't even get them to take them BACK!!!

All of this STUFF leaves my first floor looking like a yard sale vomitted in it. There are boxes and things wall to wall and stacked halfway to the ceiling. But my motivation is that the more I hate the look of it, the more I will get done NOW just in case we move sooner. I just want to be absolutely ready when the time comes instead of under a huge amount of stress to fit our lives in a 4x8.

Our goal is the end of June, so we're already down to seven months. Anything could happen causing a faster move. I'm going crazy with the details and the stress over jobs, counselors and care for my son, schools, money, rentals, and more. I want to crawl under my desk and only come out to pee.

But in the end, after the move and the stench has blown away, things will be worth it. No more winters in NY. Sunshine! Family and friends nearby always. A hometown we can grow roots in. I'm excited and it's hard and depressing for us to wait.

More later...

I haven't been keeping up with my blogs at all! Of course I haven't had a lot of time with my writing and haven't been purposely sitting with my computer in my bedroom where I do my catching up and most of my writing.

I've been really blasted with work, family illness, stress, etc.. My house is torn apart with all the preparing I am doing for the big move. I don't know if I mentioned, but we're going to start fresh. We're getting rid of EVERYTHING and moving with a 4x8 trailer from uHaul. It's cheaper to buy new things as we need them than haul our old junk 3,000 miles which would be HELL and would just depress me. I want a fresh start!

It's a lot of work trying to SELL off everything on eBay, Half.com, and locally instead of giving it away or having a huge moving sale. But we could use the money NOW and I don't want to wait until the end and find I still have half a house full and nothing to do with it.

I have a plan in all this chaos and that's to empty the house from the top floor down. My husband's office and our storage is on the third floor. I have pulled down 100% of the stored items to go through them, sell and donate or set aside what we will keep. I'm only keeping what is absolutely precious to me.

His office stuff is on the list to be cleaned and either he does it or I will... which isn't something he would REALLY want me to do, eh?? Our plan is to pull it all down to the first and second floors so we can visualize what we have to pack and how much space we will need.

I've even had such a nasty respiratory illness because I am allergic to dust and I snarfed so much dust mid-October it caused a huge reaction which turned into a terrible cold allergy thing. I thought I was headed towards an actual infection, but it cleared up finally.

Soooo I am also working on cleaning the second floor where the bedrooms and bathroom are. I am maybe 40% done with what I can do right now on that floor. More would need to be done nearer to the move like giving away our beds, packing, etc.. I am hauling everything I can downstairs to be gone through.

The basement stuff is also coming up to the first floor to be dealt with. Very little was down there and some of it is spring/summer stuff that will need to be sold in March-June, but it's still a chore.  Thank goodness I won't be taking my new washer and dryer - what JUNK they turned out to be! That's what I get for buying the cheapest machines at Lowes. We couldn't even get them to take them BACK!!!

All of this STUFF leaves my first floor looking like a yard sale vomitted in it. There are boxes and things wall to wall and stacked halfway to the ceiling. But my motivation is that the more I hate the look of it, the more I will get done NOW just in case we move sooner. I just want to be absolutely ready when the time comes instead of under a huge amount of stress to fit our lives in a 4x8.

Our goal is the end of June, so we're already down to seven months. Anything could happen causing a faster move. I'm going crazy with the details and the stress over jobs, counselors and care for my son, schools, money, rentals, and more. I want to crawl under my desk and only come out to pee.

But in the end, after the move and the stench has blown away, things will be worth it. No more winters in NY. Sunshine! Family and friends nearby always. A hometown we can grow roots in. I'm excited and it's hard and depressing for us to wait.

More later...