Blondecisions

I need a hobby

I've been hiding from my work and normal online hobbies since the move. The retail/wholesale business has drained me and is (luckily) in the process of being sold. The other biz is holding steady and improving in the nick of time.

I don't have any furniture to speak of, so I don't feel comfortable pulling out the art supplies. I haven't been in the mood to write anything more than a few posts here. I began catching up on my children's writer crit group when my laptop crashed (again).

I'm sort of floating along when it comes to "work." I'm unsure of how to continue on in this new place. I want to, but I feel like there's no inspiration. Of course I am so totally MOM and that's it, so it's not like I get any kind of reprieve or retreat to reconnect with the muse.

I did go to an Italian art festival with sidewalk artists this weekend AND went to the library (both with family in tow). I have stopped into the local bookstore since moving here and each thing makes me surge with motivation and creativity...until I go home that is. Then daily life takes over again.

Don't get me wrong - this domestic diva stuff has it's payoffs and I am pretty happy. I am very happy, in fact. But that creative piece is missing. I'm ok putting it off so long as I KNOW I will be chasing those dreams again this fall when J goes to half-day Kindergarten. ALL alone again for a few hours a day. Whoohoo!!

One night of domestic bliss

Last night I felt so peaceful and content and realized it was the first night since moving here nearly 8 weeks ago that my husband was not only home, but we were quietly enjoying separate activities. We weren't rabbid to be together because we'd been so far apart every week and only had two days to catch up. We didn't have friends or family over. The boys were in bed. He was dinking around the garage happily and I was shredding papers in the kitchen and watching my kind of television.

This is what marriages are made of sometimes I think. Peaceful coexistence and happiness being who you are and where you are. I was thinking of him out there and trying to decide on cleaning out my car. He was out there whistling and doing what men do in garages and thinking about how nice it would be to have me to talk to.

Finally we met up, cleaned the car and a few other things, listened to obnoxious tunes together and just had some fun before bed. That is, after my shredding was done.

One of the things I love about California is the sheer amount of crap you can recycle. New York is very limited. And I realized a paper shredder would make me able to recycle more as well as feel better about my personal address and info going out to the great unknown. So before buying a couch or even an end table, I bought a paper shredder.

Yesterday alone I overheated the sucker three times as I cleaned out a couple of file boxes we'd brought with us. The kick I got on clearing house before we left hasn't left my system. I love being tidy and organized and having less stuff.

My husband thinks I am obsessed with the shredder (I think he called it a sordid affair), but it's really with the prospect of more uncluttering. There's this insane (and fairly obscene) natural high I get from cleaning and organizing. I'm obsessed with seeing my walls and floors and not having a thousand places where dust and dirt collect.

I told the hubby I want to check Ikea one more time for an enclosed entertainment unit for the living room before I decide on a really cute set of shelves and media center we found at World Market. I want to not have dust (that we're HIGHLY allergic to) all over my books and CDs.

But he is all for the World Market set and thinks we could just dut the shelves every week or two. WE could dust the shelves. P'SHAW! Like WE could sweep the house, do the dishes and laundry, take the kids to and from school, water the flowers, wash the floors, cook, clean the cat box, shop and clean the bathrooms. Hubby is too far away most of the time, so the dust(ing) literally falls on my shoulders.

I don't hold it against him, I just need him to be realistic. Though I MUST give it to him (and have!) for being much more helpful and clean when he is home. He's really trying now to help keep things picked up more so I don't have so much of a mess on my hands. And the boys are usually pretty easy to enlist for odd jobs because we're teaching them responsibility and teamwork. Whew...

Anyway, tonight seems like another nice candidate for a quiet evening. A friend of hubby's may be coming over but he's so cute and fun when he's had a few beers and quiet before and after that, so he's no problem. When he's drunk he tells me how much my hubby loves me, so that's always nice to have around ;-)

The kids are up for at least one more hour, so I'm off like a prom dress, Dudes.

Missing my hubby

I don't know if hard times and bad things happen often when my husband is home, because he's the buffer between me and the world. My rock. But when he's traveling, things happen all the time that drag on me and I notice them more because I don't have his strength behind me. sure, when he's home he's a pain in the ass as all husbands are! But overall I adore him and draw a lot of strength from him when he's near - like an energy transfer. I can only imagine how hard I am on him when I'm literally sucking his energy.

The last 6 weeks have been a flurry of activity and transformations. We moved 3,000 miles, hubby started traveling intensely with this job, I gave up a lot of my work and focused more on the house and the kids, I've met a ton of people, and a lot of really shitty things have happened. I'm strong in the moment of crisis, but this has been prolonged. By week number 4 I started to crack. It didn't help that I was highly hormonal during my period and it left me absolutely drained. I'm still recovering from that and trying to find my patience with the kids and everyday life.

Well, off to bed.... the house is clean, it's dark outside, I've got no wine, there's no Grey's Anatomy or House to watch and I have no motivation to do anything else. So I might as well catch some Zzzz's before the hubster gets home. He's coming in late tonight for (I hope!) 4 days.

Beautiful children

I must say, I have beautiful children. This has been confirmed by many. And now that my little men have gotten a California golden glow this spring, they're even more beautiful. I know I find them to be absolutely gorgeous and that's because I'm mom, but other people comment on their good looks too. This morning again, someone in a line at the coffee shop just couldn't gush over J enough. His curls, his chin, his dimples.

I'm asked if their father is handsome sometimes. I think that's because they can't believe such beautiful children came from me. JERK WADS! I was beautiful too! I was, I swear!

This is where I should post a pic, but alas, I broke my camera during the move to Cali. I dropped it in a parking lot in the midwest somewhere and it heaved it's final goodbye. So I've put in a photo from nearly 5 years ago that's one of my faves. Thank goodness Big al has new glasses that aren't so... round ;-)

Game: The ugliest shoe on Zappos.com

I do love Zappos.com with its allowance for big feet like mine, it's thousands-of-brand-name-shoes inventory, free shipping, free return shipping and returns up to 365 days. But there are some gnarly shoes!

My friend Mindy thought these were terrible:
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/5124727/c/712.html but the reviewers think they're great!

So we played a little game to see who could find the ugliest shoes with another friend. Here are some of my choices (oh, and the green boots won!)

Check out these ugly sandals: http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/7995777/c/33657.html

But for real enjoyment I looked at the boots. I don’t much care for these:
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/8157455/c/767.html
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/8504719/c/1781.html

Nor a ton of other ugly ass boots! My apologies if you find these terrific. But to show my dedication to this game, I went thru 70 pages of sales boots to find you the ugliest in the wee hours of the morning the red, quilted, Spiderwoman-like boots: http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/8327797/c/1413.html
or their high top version:
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/8700368/c/1413.html
Or maybe these?
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/7930008/c/51689.html

That, my dears, is nothing but love for the game.

Thanks for the welcome back notes!

I have a total of two fans. YAY!
Tonight I'm watching Grey's Anatomy. Who loves this show like they love flicking their bean?

I like walking outside

It's like night and day in some regards here in California (remember I moved from NY around the first of April). I was taken aback when we first saw the house because the washer and dryer were in the garage. Outside. Several feet away from the front door. Why would someone do that, I wondered. Insanity!

But I've loved it from day one. Despite the juggling heavy baskets and doors to house and garage, I have enjoyed my laundry "area" being outside. I don't necessarily like the smell of the garage, the haphazard way my clothesline hangs over our car hoods, or the fact that the front of my minivan sits hot, grimy and bug riddled mere inches from the open dryer; I still love it.

I have more reasons to step outside than ever here, and laundry is just one of them. I make several trips to the garage every day and try to bring the folded laundry in small armloads, increasing my trips on purpose. I take bags of recyclables and garbage outside most every day and individually. I take things to the garage regularly that just aren't finding a place in the house. I've lost 4 pounds already just increasing my activity.

Didn't I ever go out in New York? Yes, often enough. People seem to look for reasons to go outside in California, while people looked for reasons to stay inside in New York. It's easy to stay in and be contained inside one building in New York. Whether the weather is terrible or you can't stand the neighborhood, you don't always make an effort to step outside.