Blondecisions

Game: The ugliest shoe on Zappos.com

I do love Zappos.com with its allowance for big feet like mine, it's thousands-of-brand-name-shoes inventory, free shipping, free return shipping and returns up to 365 days. But there are some gnarly shoes!

My friend Mindy thought these were terrible:
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/5124727/c/712.html but the reviewers think they're great!

So we played a little game to see who could find the ugliest shoes with another friend. Here are some of my choices (oh, and the green boots won!)

Check out these ugly sandals: http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/7995777/c/33657.html

But for real enjoyment I looked at the boots. I don’t much care for these:
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/8157455/c/767.html
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/8504719/c/1781.html

Nor a ton of other ugly ass boots! My apologies if you find these terrific. But to show my dedication to this game, I went thru 70 pages of sales boots to find you the ugliest in the wee hours of the morning the red, quilted, Spiderwoman-like boots: http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/8327797/c/1413.html
or their high top version:
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/8700368/c/1413.html
Or maybe these?
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/7930008/c/51689.html

That, my dears, is nothing but love for the game.

My Husband Will Never Complain Again

http://www.macophilia.de/crazy-ebay-mom/

This is fascinating, horrific, hillarious, amazing, sad, and a total time killer.This is about a REAL woman and her daughter. And the best part is, in all that chaos and STUFF there's REAL organization and signs of a neat freak (take a look at the things lined up just perfectly, and the T-shirts folded like a pro)! It's amazing.

Hoarding is a mental illness - I believe a broken piece off the OCD and anxiety block.

MY bone!

(video and audio)

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/videos/donttouchmybone.html

Watch those sneaky feet!

Manolo Shoes

http://www.cafepress.com/manoloshoes

This is great stuff!

Sexy Wench - I am Jealous

I noticed this woman looks JUST like a friend I left behind a couple of years ago, so I started reading the blog. Then I realized she's 42! Must be the Alaska air, because this wench looks like the older sister to her teenagers. Lucky woman! I am 29 and look like road kill.

Make that bloated road kill. The kind that has been sitting in it's own gases under the sun for a few days.

Let's just hope no one squeezes me.

I gave Him a Headache!

I am listed as a blog that gives him a headache. Not sure why I am listed, though I can't resist sending a note to ask why. You've got to stop by.. his blog is hilarious.

He's a novelist, and so am I when I am not saving the world with my cape caught in the turbine. I'd love to use him as a character.

The whole girlfriend-needing-him-in-the-bathroom-while-she's-in-the-shower-because-of-a-past-trauma thing is just silly though. She threatened his balls if he becomes a metrosexual, yet he sits in the bathroom while she prattles on (as much as I do), calling him "Mister" and asking him to scrub her back. That's metrosexual, babe. Or because I grew up in neanderthal country another term pops to mind - "pussy whipped".

It's not that he's whipped or that she's scared that's the problem. It's that she isn't over it yet and forces him to be in there. What's she going to do when she has to be alone? What did she do pre Mister? What's she going to tell the kids someday when they have to sit on the toilet while she calls them Little Mister?

It's a funny thing about being grown up. It means you have to grow up. I've had trauma, and you can be sure I lock my doors and double check them again before bed. My first purchase after buying a house will be a security system. But I still have to move on with my day in grown-up land. It's not really about trauma - it's about using your goods to tame the boy and make him bend at your will. It's about feeling special enough that your man will take a few minutes to drop everything and sit with you. It's about wanting that captive audience while you're in the shower and your brain goes into overtime.

Then again, who am I to talk when I have 3 kids with a complete repertoire of potty humor they can evoke in seconds.

I STILL want to know what gave him a headache!

Gallery of Unfortunate Christmas Cards

This is hilarious! Check out this 26 card Series of Unfortunate Christmas Cards.

Parents, men and women: Call for Writing Submissions

Call for Submissions
Blame Mama 'Zine: Now you have an excuse!

Blame Mama Media announces a new ‘zine! Our pioneer issue is due out March/April 2005 and will include work from “real” parents about “real” parenting. It’s also about real men and women (who happen to also be parents) and what funny and utterly miserable little trials we go through. Blame Mama ‘Zine is starting out small and humble, but strong. While we do offer a humble compensation, if you're here for the money, you're in the wrong place. We'll know a story that's driven by instinctual parenting.

Parents who read us or write for Blame Mama are not perfect, and we don’t pretend to be; and that’s what makes us real. We are all amazing creatures and our words are worth hearing. We may never be published in a national glossy (though some of us will) we can be sure we'll represent the slice of life we all know so well. The "real" side of parenting.

The Blame Mama editors and publisher are not perfect either; even when we pretend to be. We're very picky and we're rather moody, so choose your piece wisely as we don't take just anything. But don't be afraid to submit your work! Even if your piece is not selected for Blame Mama, please keep reading and submitting, as your next one just might be the one; you never know what we’ll accept.

Poetry will very rarely be accepted and if it is, you know it's exceptional. There are two cardinal rules here: we're not looking for greeting card poetry and the work must either induce a huge guffaw or leave the editor with a full snot rag in order for your poetry to be published here.

2005 editorial calendar
Regardless of theme, you may also submit other quality pieces, so long as they “fit” the Blame Mama ideal. All are subject to change, please check back:

Deadline: February 18
Publication date: March/April
Theme: Birthday suit

Deadline: May 20
Publication date: June/July
Theme: My gawd it's hot in here

Deadline: August 19
Publication date: September/October
Theme: to be announced

Deadline: November 18
Publication date: December/January
Theme: to be announced

What we want:
Witty or cheeky submissions are not required, but favored; compelling is ideal. We want real topics and issues of parents, or men and women (who just happen to be parents). Or you could just send us your real delusions and daydreams; whatever works for you.

Blame Mama leans towards the greener and more liberal side of parenting; everything else is fair game. Baby body fluids, embarrassment, discipline, parenting styles, calls to action and advocacy, sex, spiritualism, general parenting, relationships, heartache, pregnancy, postpartum, adoption & fostering, mishaps, funnies, parenting self esteem, exercise, vacations, pets, realities, responsibilities, good times, playing doctor, family life, fear, work, egotism; anything goes.

Unless your birth story has an amazing twist stranger than fiction and can be summed up in fewer than 700 words, please don't submit it.

Remember, you’re writing to men and women just like you, so talk to… yourself. Be creative, informative, opinionated, strong and likeable. Be aware that while opinions are welcomed, they are subjective and should never be presented as fact unless you can back them up with references and resources.

Feel free to be funny, sassy, bold, cranky, defiant or naughty. Some warm and fuzzy loving in good taste is also appropriate.

We’re currently publishing in black and white, non-glossy. 

What you may wish to submit:
Flash Fiction up to 700 words
Fiction up to 1,000 words
Articles up to 800 words
Essays up to 700 words
Poetry up to... well just not too long, m’kay?
Anecdotes and sidebars that educate and entertain up to 200 or 300 words
Comic strips, cartoons, computer graphics and drawings

If your work is longer than our specs and you feel it is worth it, feel free to submit it.

How to submit
E-mail submissions ONLY at this time. NO attachments - send mss. in the body of the e-mail and send all graphics in the form of a URL or speak with the editor before sending a .jpeg or .gif. NO stationery in the e-mail. Times New Roman or another clear font only. Please be sure you’ve edited the work well for grammar, punctuation and spelling – or have a friend do it for you. Please send submissions to bm-zine (at) blamemama (dot) com. Queries are not necessary at this time.

Payment rate: $10 and a contributor’s copy. $5 for poetry and contributor's copy. Pays on publication.
Rights: You retain all rights.

Disclaimer: No mamas were actually blamed in the making of this material.

Online Radio Link

http://www.accuradio.com/
Select a genre of music and listen to streaming audio.

Canadians! Marry an American

“The Canadian website "Marry an American" is reaching out to help weary liberal Americans who can no longer tolerate their president, asking Canadians to marry someone from south of the border(Marryanamerican.ca )”

I’m laughing all the way to Canada (should I clear it with my husband first?)