Blondecisions

From Hugging to Drugging

Just say no to moms with drugs.

I was happily blabbing away at my son this morning getting him a bagel and meds. In a few minutes he was zombified and complaining of being tired and weak and not wanting to go to his field trip. I figured he was just being a twerp until it dawned on me - spread like jam from the mommy guilt knife - this horrifying realization that icily ran over my nerves, strangled my stomach, and punched my heart. I had ASSidentally given him the nighttime med. The clonidine. You know, the third med that makes him sleep at night? Yah, that one.

I am a bad bad mother SUPER BAD mother extremely disgusting and shouldn't be allowed to live (bad) mother. Oh my poor sweetie!

I told him to lay down in the chair and he promptly fell asleep for about 45 minutes until I put his shoes and coat on and marched him out to the bus. Does that make me even worse? He's got a field trip in a few minutes. I told him what I'd done and he just looked at me, expressionless. Almost icy, but not quite. What does that mean??

And THAT is how you start off a great morning.

My Dog got Pepper Sprayed

I mean no disrespect to OTHER postal carriers, but I cannot stand mine. He's grumpy and rude to humans, and I know now that he's worse with animals. Besides possibly shoving a deck chair and kicking at my little Westie, he also sprayed him right between the eyes.

 

I don't blame him for spraying if he felt he was in danger, though I don't even think Rudy's teeth would have gotten past his boots had he intended to bite. I didn't hear Rudy even bark until after the scuffle started.

 

I heard something scrape across the porch floor, stomping and then barking and came out to find the postal guy shoving mail in my box and leaving without a word to me. Rudy was no where near him, obviously having been dazed by being sprayed and chased off the porch.

 

But then Rudy began to bark and ran after him and I yelled at Rudy and told the guy that he doesn't bite - to which he said, "they never do."

 

I said, "Umm...ok. So, aren't you early?"

 

He just shrugged. One thing to note with my carrier is that he refuses to look you in the eye. Heck, he won't even look AT you, period! I've thought he's a real jerk since I first said hello to him in June.

I called the post office when I realized Rudy couldn't open his eyes and had a substance on him. Getting close to him was painful for one of my eyes too.

 

I do hope this doesn't make Rudy mean. I've been worried about his behavior lately as being stuck behind a fence has him barking at anything that moves and he worsened when we moved here and the neighbor kids tease him thru the fence. I don't hesitate to yell at them out my door, but the damage is done by the time I get there.

 

The postman is like a tease too because Rudy hears and/or sees him every day but can't get to him...

 

I've GOT to start working on him with treats and what-not to stop being aggressive - if that's the word for it. He's really not aggressive at all. Rudy's behavior is menacing by barking and charging, but once he reaches your leg, he jumps up and wags, waiting for attention.

 

I told the guy on the phone at the post office that my carrier is "grumpy." One of these days I am going to complain formally. There's been times he didn't deliver mail because of the dog (which I understand) but wouldn't stop when he knew it was all clear... in other words, he was on the other side of the fence and could have handed me my mail but instead he took off.

 

I've had to chase him down before and he's NOT pleasant to speak to. Other things have happened too - nothing big, but I realized from him that you actually do sort of need a good relationship with your carrier.

 

Needless to say, he got no goodies for Christmas!

Almost Became a Statistic

The two highways I travel for T's step down program are notorious for accidents – they have several every day it seems and I worry about my husband being on them every day and my being on them almost 4 hours a day for a few weeks.

Friday afternoon I was driving to pick up my son and was nearly involved in a nasty accident. I looked up ahead and saw a New York State Trooper in the shadows to the side of a long stretch of highway. He was hidden near a mound of land and trees, clocking speeders; the way the sun was in front of us he was nearly impossible to see.

I was only going a few over the limit, no one was hitting their brakes up ahead and so I watched as everyone else whizzed past me on the three-lane, oblivious to the Trooper.

I saw him begin to ease out to the road and he flicked on his lights just before I reached him. Well, it was like jumping out of the shadows and yelling, “boo!” as several cars almost jumped off their lane. One car in the first lane struck the Trooper’s grill just after I’d passed. I looked in my rearview as he flew across the lane I’d been in, nearly hitting the car behind me, then over to the third lane, hitting another vehicle before exiting the road and coming to a rest against the guardrail.

I pulled over to call 911 as the Trooper was still horizontal across two lanes and I didn’t know if he was hurt, but that’s when he pulled off to the side.

I THINK the second car that had been hit must have been going slow enough at that point that he was able to just pull off the shoulder after doing a 360. It’s all a blur now.

I don’t know if that Trooper was actually hit or if he was the one that caused the accident by pulling out into a vehicle. I won’t ever know for sure.

I was absolutely trembling and full of adrenaline that just exhausted me in an instant. Now I am ten times more concerned about driving on these highways so much!

Tail Tuck - and update

Poor kitty Tucker! Does it ever end? We're struggling to catch up and ends up we'll need money for a whopping vet bill, I'm sure!

My six-year-old accidentally shut the cat's tail in the storm door this morning and it sliced him wide open to the bone. He's at the vets right now and they'll shave it, x-ray it and make the decision whether to just treat it with stitches and meds or actually take 5 inches off his tail.

Poor kitty! And poor A.!! He was scared to death because he didn't realize what was happening, daddy was yelling, the cat was screaming and scratching, and he couldn't get the door open to let his tail loose.

He cried and cried and sat on his bed. We told him it was ok, laughing and things. Poor kid-o!

Despite this big gaping wound, the cat was busy purring and chowing down like a monster on his food. He's going to be ok... our wallet isn't! But he gave me the cutest little look before we left him. He was happy and oblivious.

***UPDATE***

Tucker's home now! It was a tendon and not the bone we saw and he's been stitched up and medicated. No amputation necessary.

His tail is wrapped and he's PISSED that I won't let him outside. Wait until he hears he won't be outside for TEN days! I don't think that's going to last. One of the kids is bound to let him out somewhere along the way.

Grand total for our beloved cat (that I am allergic to): $306.00.

Yup. I really said that. Shall I take it out of A's allowance?

Nanny 911 Causing my Family Counseling

I am supposed to call a family counselor to get us in .. as a family. For counseling. M'kay?

I was all for it but I am not so sure now. Somehow I think Nanny 911 is making my husband think the problems at home are all my fault. And if it is my fault, he's not supposed to know darnit!

The PROBLEM is with my 9-yr-old and with the "more than 2" family dynamic.

T is ok with me
A is ok with me
J is ok with me

T and A and me = not ok
T and J and me = not ok

My husband and I are having some troubles seeing eye to eye on some things and getting ahead of the nasty behaviors on others. My second son is now so anxious and shows naughty behaviors too. My lil guy is getting old enough, sensitive enough and articulate enough to tell me when T hurts his feelings, etc..

It's affcting the whole family. I am beside myself, my husband feels helpless, my kids are anxious... and all because of the way this bipolar disorder (?) manifests itself in my oldest. We have truly had a happy family stolen from us, and it's time to work to regain some of it.

BUT --

I KNOW my husband needs to work long hours and drive three hours a day, but right now I am home alone with a child who is very hard to like, and very hard to live with.

I am stressed.

I need to have some help here, and I told him, "If we could get another adult body in here when you have to be gone, that would solve a LOT of problems." I wouldn't be complaining when he is gone so much. I understand and support his need to be gone, but I am going batty here alone. Yet I know we can't really afford it.

HE then said that he hoped the therapy would help us with tools to cope and continue to raise the kids as well or better. That added piece pushed me away a bit. Earlier we had mentioned using therapy for my husband and I and the other two boys to become a happy, healthy family no matter what T and the disorder throws at us. But this little added extra was upsetting.

Instead of getting some kind of help at home to deal with the two "healthy" kids while the other was going off the handle, I am expected to just go to the therapist and get the tools necessary to keep my cool.

He says it's for BOTH of us. But since he's rarely home because of work, I don't see this as a "both of us" type of thing.

The ER Witches

On the way to the ER my sick lil man wet himself so the hubster brought clothes. Thanks honey. Thanks for bringing a set of the skankiest pajamas we have. The pants were so short they were almost up to his KNEES and the shirt is a soccer cup shirt with an animal *doing something* to another. You can barely see what they're doing and it's a size small shirt so J wears it to bed. Bad parents, I know :)

Luckily he brought a nice snugly fleece flannel to cover it all.

Two hours after we arrive, we're called in and this 55ish year old woman says I should take off his jacket because it's not good for his fever. I didn't get mean, but I said, "With all due respect, I have three boys; I know what I am doing."

She sort of stumbled over herself, confused and surprised that I'd said something. She tried to push the subject a bit about why I should keep him in light T's and I just thanked her, but stuck by my statement as she led us a few doors away. She then told me I'd have to change him into a PJ shirt of theirs so they could listen to his lungs -- just a ploy to get me to take his jacket off.

She then proceeds to leave the room and TALK ABOUT ME a few feet away!

Within 2 minutes the 40-50ish Nurse Practitioner comes in and asks me what's up. She looks at his half empty bottle of Dasani water and asks me if I am keeping the fluids coming. Duh.

Then she says something about whether I am keeping him in lightweight clothes for his fever. Now, I have never been told that, let alone twice in two minutes. I still wasn't very confrontational, but said, "I know ho to take care of my kids, thanks."

She immediately got VERY snarky with me, "What are you talking about?! I didn't say anything about that."

I said, "Well, two of you have told me the same thing in two minutes and ..."

"What? What do you mean? I don't have any idea." She just wants me to take off his clothes. "I didn't say anything about that!"

"I know she told you!" I was getting a little heated, but holding back.

"She didn't say.. what? What do you mean?" The NP was sputtering and rude. Witch.

"I'm just saying, I know how to raise my kids, and if my son has the chills with this fever, I am GOING to cover him up."

"I didn't say anything about that. Fine. FINE. Whatever."

Bitch. What is WITH them? They were acting like teenagers and apparently don't think I am smart enough to raise my own kids. You DON'T strip them down when they have a fever, that can cause painful/upsetting chills. You let them bundle up. It's the core temp that has to come down with the aid of time or medication. in fact, if you cool them manually, when you stop their core can heat up too quickly and cause seizure. That's why they don't tell you to alcohol bathe them or give them cool baths anymore.

I wanted to yell, "My mom's ben a nurse for 30 years and I was an EMT before moving here and dealing with YOU. I KNOW how to take care of my KIDS!"

But I didn't.

After he got a dose of medicine, the NP didn't just tell me instructions, she acted like I was an idiot.

I WILL be complaining to the hospital - I'll let you know what happens. If they were the usual "can't be bothered" types, I wouldn't bother squealing on them.  But this was above and beyond.

What is WRONG with these people?

I will never understand why they waste time and money trying to get stupid bills passed. They might as well start inforcing the laws that are still on the books in states that are just assinine - like what color women's dresses have to be, you must eat cheese with apple pie, and you can't give your husband a knob job in your vehicle (but that's another story).

My finger is wagging today. What is it to YOU if I've miscarried or aborted and why would I need to go through the pain of having to report it to the police? There's no laws against it and until there is, there's nothing they can do and no reason to report it. Not to MENTION the paperwork alone that the police would have to do AND the follow-ups on reports that a death went unrecorded. Puhleez....

Proposed bill requiring women to report “fetal deaths” withdrawn
Related entries: Health & Safety, Infertility, Lifestyle, Media, Pregnancy & Birth

Delegate John A. Cosgrove withdrew his proposed bill requiring women to report “fetal death” within 12 hours or face jail time and a steep fine.

”It was clearly absurd on its face. To expect a woman who has gone through the mental and physical pain of a miscarriage to have to contact the police department after it has happened is just ridiculous,” said Ann O’Hanlon, the executive director of the Virginia chapter of NARAL Pro-Choice America, a women’s reproductive-rights lobbying group.

Cosgrove has maintained that he didn’t intend the bill to apply to miscarriages, but the wording of the bill seemed left open for interpretation.

(Click blog article's the title link "Proposed bill requiring...." to read more)

Thanks for the Love, Mom

"We'd invite you down to Florida for the Holidays but you're too fat to be any fun."

My parents go from around Dec. 5th to the 19th every year and they stay in a hotel and a timeshare condo and... well that's all. Mom brings her fave VHS tapes and books, dad just reads. Mom leaves for hours to WALK and walk and walk. Oh and a few flea markets and eating out three times a day.

Otherwise they do NOTHING.

I hate walking with my mother -- I hated it when I was skinny and athletic.

She walks like a maniac.

I happen to have this fibromyalgia thing going on and she's convinced if I would just lose weight I would be cured. She doesn't choose to note the fact that I GAINED the weight BECAUSE of the fibro...

1st Grade Sexual Harassment

I do not want my six year old "hanging out" with this child from his class who lives around the corner in our neighborhood. K has asked him to come over before and even though we never let the kids go to houses we've never been to and don't know the parents of, I would NOT have let him go. I think K is a bad influence.

Yes, I said it. K is a BAD influence on my adorable, innocent, little boy. He's a charmer - he loves his women. He always has! When he was just a baby, a woman's voice would turn his head. He'd play with hair of any woman or girl he could, and had been hanging on to my hair since he was a newborn.

We joke that he has a harem because he's never so alive as when he's surrounded by girls, and lots of them.

But this K has taken things too far. Supposedly they were "going out" and she wrote him love notes in first grader chicken scratch, and made him tag along behind her like a puppy. This six-yr-old is allowed to run around the neighborhood on her bike alone without a parent even able to see her. She's mouthy and naughty and could care less about riding her bike into traffic without looking.

A started telling me he was being threatened by her brother (the neighborhood bully) and we took care of that, but she was also forcing him to kiss her on the bus. He said it was on the cheek, but that she "made him."

This girl was kicking the crap out of him in the playground next to our house - he was on the ground just allowing her to kick him... a couple of times he did this! Then I found out they were hiding behind the big rock and she made him kiss her - his brother found them.

He began to feel uncomfortable and I reminded him it was HIS body and he should tell her no. I put my foot down about him being around her at all, and said he couldn't even sit with her on the bus.  He told me they broke up because she was bossy and because my husband and I asked him to.

I just talked to his teacher today and found out she's had to repeatedly separate them for holding hands and hugging, etc.. While I know my son is a charmer and loves his girls, he was previously hands off unless his hands were in her hair, but that's IT. (And by the way, she has hair down to her lower back)

I can't blame it all on K, but I think she's basically showing him the moves....and I want to know what she's seeing at home on TV or ? to feel it's appropriate to do that at her age.

My kids see a loving relationship between my husband and I - hand holding, hugs, quick schmoooches, maybe a playful pinch. But until K, my lil guy wouldn't dare do that to anyone. He was all about clowning around to get and keep their attention, or maybe touch their hair.

Seems like he's being pushed to perform for her and he's just giving in and no longer telling me about it. I think he wants desperately to keep her attention so he does what she asks, and he no longer tells me about it because I'll tell him he has to stop. It's got to be stressful...I know he's always doing anything to get and keep his older brother's attention, even when T treats him badly. Has THAT set him up for being a pushover and allowing himself to be abused?

OK, so I know I may sound like a whack-o, but to me it's like sexual harassment in the first grade!

The girl's mother is not available unless she's on the street screaming at everyone's kids except her on, standing on the neighbor's doorstep screaming, or calling the cops.

Sssoooo I have to tackle this with him alone... perhaps maybe with the help of the Principal who spent the entire first week dealing with this little girl's brother when he was threatening my boys.

I keep thinking, what did I do wrong that he's such a pushover to this girl? I really think she's abusive.  Has my son projected his sibling relationship onto this girl and is willing to take her abuse for the few times she gives him those doe eyes (and according to the teacher, they've perfected the flirt from across the rug. "Googly eyes" is what she said.)

Blahhh..

My Mother is Ignorant

There - I said it. Maybe she reads my blog and I should delete that, huh? Guess I'll find out.

I've been really pissed at my mom for quite a while because she gets on these kicks as though she needs to "save" my children. The older she gets, the more she acts like her mother and just does what she wants and pretends she didn't know I wouldn't be pleased. We are spiritual in a certain way and we are most certainly not Christian, but I am very respectful to those who are! I prefer to handle our religious discussions in house with my kids in my own way.

Just because I don't choose to serve her lord does not mean my children need saving. She sends me conflicting signals regularly about myself and my parenting and the older I get the less I want to do with it. One minute I am great, the next I am going to burn in hell and take my children with me. One minute I am wonderful, and the next she's sniping some damned rude comment at me.

As a sidebar, this past weekend we were in the mall and there were little costumed girls everywhere. I said, "I want a girl so I can dress her up like that!" to which she responded nastily and totally unprovoked, "WHY? You'll just buzz her hair off too."

WTF? She's constantly complaining about the boys' hair and in front of them as well. My eldest is so sensitive. i am going to have to discuss it with her again that she's hurting his feelings. So he likes his hair buzzed.. so what?

Anywhoo...

For a year or two she was convinced I was leading them astray, so she started confusing them with things. She bought them bible stories and forced them to say prayers. She corrects them saying that "Oh my god" is swearing, etc.. We've had to do a lot of damage control and luckily we moved away, but I will need to address it soon enough. WE are very respectful and have told the kids that not everyone agrfees you should say, "Oh my god" and therefore, out of respect for others in society and for Granny, you should not say it in front of them.

Last weekend went like this:

Boy #1: Oh my GOD T!

Boy #2: Ooooh you can't say that...

Granny: Don't you say that, it's swearing

Me: No it's not swearing

Boy #2: Is it?

Granny: Yes, it is

Me: NO it's not in my house

Hubby: T. and A. remember what we told you. Granny doesn't like that phrase so be respectful.

Boy #1 and #2: Sorry Granny

Granny: *sour puss face*

Me: *evil grin* It's not swearing, you just don't like it.

This week politics has really caused a rift. She told me Saturday she was voting for Bush after she refused to watch Farenheit 9-11. She actually said it was because she didn't want to hear anything bad about Bush. She had made up her mind.

She's of that "moral sect" that comes from the old generation where you don't question your leader. She was a kid when Kennedy was assassinated. You just didn't question the Commander in Chief in that generation and the ones before.

My inbox held a little gem this morning:

--------------------

Gina,

I know you are disappointed about the election and do not like Bush, he is still your president. Please be careful about what you say in front of the kids about any president. I have lived through many I disagreed with, but I'm sure you were not aware. The kids should be supportive of our country and that makes it difficult for them to understand when political remarks are made against their president. The bombing of Oklahoma City is a fine example. [McVeigh] hated his country and his president and proved it.

Worry more about sending pictures! Love, Mom

-------------------

Holy hog in shit! [Didn't Dan Rather use that one?]

My mother thinks being against the prez makes you a domestic terrorist against the entire country. And I should burry my head in the sand and not teach my kids about these things; just like she chose to do with me.

I told her not to worry about my blowing up a federal building - I might break a nail.

There is a very real possibility my brother will be recalled to serve in the war-that-supposedly-ended and a draft could easily snatch my husband up since he's only 30. Or perhaps in 9 years if we're still killing our men and women over there, my son will look like a juicy new candidate.

The jerk started a war with the wrong people to get revenge on Sadaam for trying to assasinate his father! And blindly we followed and still do. There's no militia or camouflage in my future, but I am certainly not going to shut up about the Moron in Chief who is against schools, civil liberties and freedom to choose, the environment, insurance, small business, emergency services, etc...

ADVERTISING said the guy is all about morals and people actually BELIEVED that. Have we learned nothing? His actions say otherwise, but we just follow blindly along.

Blahhh....

And the most stinging irony is that I cannot criticize Bush in front of my kids, but she can criticize me and my son's hair style in front of him without a second thought. That's not only ironic but hypocritical.